I've spent a lot of time alone in my life. When I was young, it was due to several things... I was a geek and a bit different, so there was that... but I also had a crazy mother. I mean it. She had some really strange ideas about life, and those ideas kept me, the oldest child, from having fun. Because she was nuts, it limited me- both by her "rules," and by the fact that I often did not want to bring other people or friends into my crazy world.
By age 8, I was practicing the piano 1 hour every day... by 13, it was 2 hours. So after school, which I usually walked home from, I did homework and practiced. When I joined band and track team, it was stay at school for that, walk home, 2 hours of piano, and homework. I was a straight-A student, so I did all of my homework and studying.. and was in bed by 9. So there was not a lot of time for friends outside of school and school activities. I did not have a phone or TV, and if I wanted to talk on the phone I had to do it in the kitchen (where my mother could hear me.) I had no privacy unless I was in my room, alone. If I wanted to play outside, I had to take my younger siblings with me. If I wanted to go out with friends, my mother would first ask me 50 questions, call the mom or dad, criticize what I chose to wear, and then tell me I had to be home by 10 (plans would often start around 9 pm.) Often I would just give up and decide not to go anywhere but instead sit alone in my room.
I became my own best friend, designing art, reading, talking to myself, and wishing for a different life. When the opportunity to go away to college finally came, I left and went as far away as the SUNY system would take me.
So for much of my young life, being alone was both a negative and a positive thing. Nowadays, I am content in my own company but I also long for balance. I enjoy time with friends, but I like it in small doses. I especially enjoy meeting and talking with strangers, which is why craft shows are very appealing to me- I can get to know someone quickly, compliment them, find out what makes them tick, and then they leave me alone. I largely live in my inner world, I don't watch much TV and don't like gossip. Perhaps I am so used to being alone that the expectations of long-standing friendships are difficult for me. For example, I can't imagine what it would be like to have a friend I spoke with on the phone every week. What on earth would we talk about? lol.
How do YOU feel when you are by yourself?
By age 8, I was practicing the piano 1 hour every day... by 13, it was 2 hours. So after school, which I usually walked home from, I did homework and practiced. When I joined band and track team, it was stay at school for that, walk home, 2 hours of piano, and homework. I was a straight-A student, so I did all of my homework and studying.. and was in bed by 9. So there was not a lot of time for friends outside of school and school activities. I did not have a phone or TV, and if I wanted to talk on the phone I had to do it in the kitchen (where my mother could hear me.) I had no privacy unless I was in my room, alone. If I wanted to play outside, I had to take my younger siblings with me. If I wanted to go out with friends, my mother would first ask me 50 questions, call the mom or dad, criticize what I chose to wear, and then tell me I had to be home by 10 (plans would often start around 9 pm.) Often I would just give up and decide not to go anywhere but instead sit alone in my room.
I became my own best friend, designing art, reading, talking to myself, and wishing for a different life. When the opportunity to go away to college finally came, I left and went as far away as the SUNY system would take me.
So for much of my young life, being alone was both a negative and a positive thing. Nowadays, I am content in my own company but I also long for balance. I enjoy time with friends, but I like it in small doses. I especially enjoy meeting and talking with strangers, which is why craft shows are very appealing to me- I can get to know someone quickly, compliment them, find out what makes them tick, and then they leave me alone. I largely live in my inner world, I don't watch much TV and don't like gossip. Perhaps I am so used to being alone that the expectations of long-standing friendships are difficult for me. For example, I can't imagine what it would be like to have a friend I spoke with on the phone every week. What on earth would we talk about? lol.
How do YOU feel when you are by yourself?
