Today is my Birthday! Celebrating with Whimsey...

A Fairy was born this morning on my desk. She is Orange, Pink and Purple (of course!) and she holds high a banner that states "Whimsey." I didn't even plan it that way, it's just how my favorite colors came together naturally once I sat down to create. I have been immersing myself in Intention for the past 3 weeks or so, as I face almost certain unemployment in just under 3 weeks.

My teaching career in public school will be a "flash in the pan" of my life. And that's ok, because I think that the public school system will never compensate or appreciate me the way I deserve. I have come to believe that teachers in general have collective low self-esteem. We allow ourselves to be used, mentally tortured, financially abused. We try to do our best- and the excuse for why we take the abuse is "It's for the good of the children." How come I have to do what's best for YOUR kids, when you don't even care enough to make sure I have a budget to buy supplies with? Why should I spend MY money on YOUR children's education? These are only a couple of the many questions I have about the public education system right now. I think it's broken from several points of view, and since I don't support having negativity in my life (saps the energy, ya know) I don't think I will mind if I lose my job. Of course, if a miracle occurs and I don't lose my job, I will go back and volunteer for the abuse all over again. I do love those kids, and they love me back. My friend Marsha says we don't have low self-esteem- she calls it a "Sense of the Higher Good." Well, they do say Kharma is a bitch- and she's coming for any of you parents who don't help your school systems find real solutions.

Anyway, I have been thinking that unemployment really just means "time to work for no one but me." So I've been planning and scheming. Add a dash of Whimsey to the mix, and maybe I'll even have fun figuring this all out.

Gardens-

Gardens... should be like lovely, well-shaped girls:  all curves, secret corners, unexpected deviations, seductive surprises and then still more curves.  ~H.E. Bates, A Love of Flowers


Found at QuoteGarden.com- I love that site!

The Mind/Body/Soul connection for artists and intellectuals, like me

I had an interesting breakthrough this week. I realized that for most of my life, I have been told by my guides (parents, teachers, other important adults, and popular media) that I had the mental and artistic gifts of artist, musician, and intellectual and therefore, it was unimportant and unexpected for me to develop my physical body. I bought it- hook, line and sinker. And so I find myself, at 37, unhappy with my health, overweight. I never question why- I know it's because I'm a thinker, not an athlete. But my body is weak, my spirit is sick, and yup, I'm very very smart. I can't create- because I'm so stuck in my mind with my unhappiness.
So here's the breakthrough- I realize that during my time here on earth, I am made of three parts- physical body, intellectual mind, and creative soul. I need to develop balance so all three can be united equally, and produce equally, without one detracting from another. I hurt my back earlier this week, causing me to have to lay down for most of it. That made me angry, because I couldn't teach, study, or create. Going to workout makes me angry most days- why should I waste time in the gym, when I could be absorbing information? (I have learned most of what I know from reading, studying, and practicing.) I always feel like time spent moving is time spent wasted- because I would rather be learning. This is a fatal flaw- and must be corrected. I have decided that I need to encourage myself to spend equal time learning, creating, and moving. Only that way will my inbalance and unhappiness be cured. I spend so much time learning- which basically means sitting-still; reading, watching videos, or practicing my skills on the computer- that I have made my body sick and with it, my soul. My soul can't reconcile the fact that my body doesn't match my mind- and so it worries, constantly- and can't embrace the creation process fully. I'll let you know how it goes.