It's interesting, because although I am an artist, and the physical mark I want to leave on the world is my art, I know I have something more than a physical piece of artwork inside me- I have full knowledge of myself that has been gained through a lot of study, reflection, metacognition, and faith. I feel more ready to complete my current art project than ever before- but not for any physical reason, and not for any motivation having to do with tons of people wanting to buy my art (as a status symbol or collectible, or anything like that.)
Instead, what I have to share is on the inside, and it is being gloriously reflected on the outside as art, as the FRUITS of my thought process, prayer, and reflection.
For most of my life, I've been "plagued" by my many talents. What a burden it is to be a straight-A student for 17 years without trying, to remember almost anything I've ever learned or read or heard in a lecture, to be musically talented in multiple instruments AND voice, to have new ideas EVERY SINGLE MINUTE. I constantly berated god for his overabundance of gifts and lack of a road-map. Every decision I was about to make about my future would be blocked by the idea that if I chose to follow one path, I would be forfeiting another. I mean, only one person could be Leonardo Da Vinci, right? And he already did that.
Many people suffer from creative blocks, there are all kinds. My kind has to do with anxiety over choosing, because in the act of choosing one thing, that means all others are put to the side, at least for a moment. At some point in the last few months, I realized- if I NEVER choose, I will NEVER manifest anything. All that talent will go to waste, and I will die completely unfulfilled. My mission for myself is to trust myself, trust my choices, and love myself- which includes keeping promises to myself and keeping consistent so I can get results.
Instead, what I have to share is on the inside, and it is being gloriously reflected on the outside as art, as the FRUITS of my thought process, prayer, and reflection.
For most of my life, I've been "plagued" by my many talents. What a burden it is to be a straight-A student for 17 years without trying, to remember almost anything I've ever learned or read or heard in a lecture, to be musically talented in multiple instruments AND voice, to have new ideas EVERY SINGLE MINUTE. I constantly berated god for his overabundance of gifts and lack of a road-map. Every decision I was about to make about my future would be blocked by the idea that if I chose to follow one path, I would be forfeiting another. I mean, only one person could be Leonardo Da Vinci, right? And he already did that.
Many people suffer from creative blocks, there are all kinds. My kind has to do with anxiety over choosing, because in the act of choosing one thing, that means all others are put to the side, at least for a moment. At some point in the last few months, I realized- if I NEVER choose, I will NEVER manifest anything. All that talent will go to waste, and I will die completely unfulfilled. My mission for myself is to trust myself, trust my choices, and love myself- which includes keeping promises to myself and keeping consistent so I can get results.
My Mission in life, therefore, is to find a way to encourage those who are blocking their true potential with anxiety to unblock and let their light shine.
I have so many anxieties, but through some very important study I've discovered that almost all of them have to do with not taking responsibility for my own actions, and trying to anticipate everyone else's. When you are living in that particular hell, you end up not caring for yourself, and being too wrapped up in everyone else's business to notice.
When I look back now over my life and call to mind what I might have had simply for taking and did not take, my heart is like to break. ~William Hale White
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