It really is ALL ABOUT YOU. A Mini-Manifesto, kinda

Be responsible for you- completely. 

Own your thoughts, words and actions- completely. 

Be proactive. Respond responsibly, rather than React, to what other people think, say and do. 

Our culture is perverse these days, maybe for much longer than that. The perversity I'm talking about is self-sacrifice. Don't get me wrong, this concept is important and is a founding thought for many world religions- because of the nature of what "doing good" means and the effect it has on the world.

It's awesome to do good deeds. It makes you feel good and it helps others, but only when it's done properly- from a place of giving, and the spirit of wanting to do it because you intrinsically know that it is the right thing to do.

It becomes perverse when you are constantly given messages that convey that somehow, your desires and responsibilities are NOT GOOD ENOUGH when compared to the desires of others, and your responsibilities to others. We are fed this message from our early years- we have to share, we have to compromise, we have to capitulate to others' needs in order for our deeds and actions to have any value. We now, in America, have to stop doing anything that might somehow offend someone else, because it would be wrong to offend someone by doing what YOU want to do, wearing what you want to wear, worshiping how you want to worship, or saying what you want to say. We are taught to think before doing anything- because it might offend someone else, and if it will, then it is not a worthy pursuit.

There is a difference, people, between being selfish, being self-centered, and having self-esteem. There is a difference between being self-sacrificing, and just being a good person. There is a difference between having tact and being socially well-adjusted, and just being a jerk. But the differences have become very blurred, and at this point I believe most people are falling into two major groups: jerks, and codependents. Notice I said "most people." Because I do believe there are a fair number of people out there who have good self-esteem, are socially adjusted, have tact, understand how and want to do good for others, and have not lost themselves in the process. I don't need to speak to those people, they know who they are. They won't even resonate with what I'm saying, because it doesn't matter to them- I have a friend like this, and when I talk to her about it, she doesn't "get it," and I don't hold it against her one bit- because she is lucky to be emotionally healthy.

But what about you? I can tell you right now- you only have responsibility for a very narrow, deep bunch of stuff- and it's all about YOU.

• what you say & do
• how you say it or do it
• why you say & do things

Are you getting the big picture here? You are responsible for YOU. You are not responsible for other people's actions, thoughts, deeds or proclamations. If you have kids or others you are directly responsible to help raise or get through this life, then you can add that to your responsibility list- but you are still not responsible for what COMES OUT OF THEM. You are only responsible for what YOU PUT IN, and what you give them access to. For example, if you keep firearms in your house and your kids get them and cause physical hurt to themselves or someone else, you are responsible for giving them access. But if you teach them right and wrong, and they decide to do wrong, they are responsible.  If you teach them what you want them to know, and they seek knowledge elsewhere, you are not responsible for what they create with the knowledge- they are. I'm thinking way back to Adam and Eve here. God told them what to do, what to eat... they chose what they chose, and it wasn't his fault- it was theirs. So if God could give up responsibility for his children's mistakes and punish them for doing what they did, why can't we? Because we are taught from the time we can function as toddlers that self-sacrifice and self-debasement is "how it's done." 

It's time to start taking responsibility for ourselves. To do, say, think, eat, wear, worship, be friends with, support... the list goes on here, what WE want. If everyone did that, honestly, and didn't get mixed up in telling others what to do, or in trying to "get inside the mind" of others and figure out what they want from us, the world would be a better place.

I think about my friends who are dating. They ask me things like.... "How long should I wait to text him back?" "What do you think he meant by saying ___?" "Should I.....fill in the blank."

My answer is: 1. Do what YOU want. 2. Call or text when YOU want to. 3. How the heck should I know what he meant or thought? Why don't you ask HIM?

Why play games? Because every magazine and website says to. They all tell girls to play a certain game to "catch" a guy. I'm sure the guys' websites and magazines say the same thing about chasing girls. This, of course, is only one example of the ways we use our self-debasement culture to mess up a totally fun thing, in this case, finding the ONE.

OK, stepping down from the soapbox now- I've studied so much in the past few years regarding my own emotional health that I now feel very relaxed and open when friends ask for advice, and I really want to share this special message with more people.

Be responsible for you- completely. Own your thoughts, words and actions- completely. Be proactive. Respond responsibly, rather than React, to what other people think, say and do.

Day 10? or 11? I made Art! Actually, I ordered fabric for my prototypes!

So this morning I finally sat down to scan, touch up, and arrange my drawings so they could be turned into beautiful fabric that I can use to create my new line of nursery goods. Fabric is only one of the mediums I will be using, tomorrow I'm going to work on the polymer clay parts! I am going to use Magic Transfer Paper, of course, to get my drawings onto the clay.

It's been a great week in the startup process... I keep making myself push ahead, even when I want to give up. Because I'm prone to having a great idea and not seeing it through. So this time, this idea is going all the way to completion. I must- because I've realized that if I keep having ideas, but I don't make any of them come alive, I won't be able to make the money I need to be able to finally quit looking to other people to pay my bills.

Day 8- Get Feedback!

It's important to get good feedback when you are starting up something new, from someone you trust. I've started asking those closest to me what they think of my idea, drawings, and thought process with this new children's line I'm putting together, and the reception has been great!

It can feel awkward or weird to ask people close to you for their feedback on something that is really important to you, something you THINK you are doing right... but you can also be too close to a project. When that happens, you can follow an idea or a lead into a place maybe you shouldn't be going.

I'm grateful that the reception has thus far been very positive!

Day 5- I have a superpower!

It's day 5 of the momentum challenge, and I was encouraged to discover my superpower and nurture it, to think about how it helps me in business, life and art...

My superpower is metacognition. I have the uncanny ability to think about how I think. Then of course, I get to change what I DO based on how I think about what I did or thought. Isn't that fantastic? It has led me to turn on a dime when I need to, to fix a class mid-sentence when I see that my audience is non-responsive, to repair damage I myself am doing because what I thought would happen wasn't exactly true.

So how can I apply this now, to my momentum? Well, a few days ago, I was thinking I would make my new art objects out of fabric. Then suddenly, I thought, why don't I make SOME of them out of clay? I already got a great response from the tribe I am slowly gathering on Facebook (someone said they would buy my drawing if it was available on fabric, yay! and I wasn't even soliciting for that info).

Now I think, because I am able to rethink my original plan, that I will offer it several ways. After all, I'm already known as a clay artist, I've written a book on the subject, and I've been working in the medium for many years.

I love having a superpower, I'll have to sketch myself as Turn-on-a-Dime Woman!

Day 4- conquering Fears.

I have spent a lot of time in the past year surfacing and conquering my fears. Today's challenge has to do with voicing your fears so that you can start conquering them. I did that.
In fact last year I wrote an ecourse called fear less, do more. Well, the original name was shut up and put out, which really means shut up your fearful mind, and start doing something about everything you say you want to do.
I'm on a roll now, I just let go of some things that I didn't really want to be doing, and now I'm not afraid to push forward and get my product line running. To keep thinking about things that I'm fearful of would be rumination. And the whole topic of this blog is getting out of rumination, and into Illumination.
Which for me means taking action and lighting up my life.

Day 3- Momentum Challenge- Overcoming Limits

I'm a big fan of figuring yourself out. You know, most of how we FEEL has a lot to do with what we BELIEVE. A while ago, I did this fun activity where I tried to write down everything I believe about life, and then figure out where each belief came from. I discovered that most of my beliefs came from the (for lack of a better word) programming I received from my parents. After all, these people have you and raise you, for better or worse... and they pass along their beliefs to you in the way they speak to you, the things they make or encourage you to do, and the actions they do or don't take. You watch and listen and follow their lead, and eventually you pop out an adult with your own set of beliefs about life which have been heavily influenced by your parents.

For example, when I went away to college I expressed my belief that the Catholic church was not the only right way to live. My mom challenged me to go speak to the priest, and I said that of course he would tell me to come back to church, he was a priest for goodness sake! I explored a few other Christian religions, was agnostic for a while, tried Atheism but it didn't take, and now I'm feeling like I kinda hate organized religion, but if I have to go for the community aspect, I guess being Catholic isn't so bad in the scheme of things- after all, I really don't believe any of them have it right. But at least I have explored all of my beliefs about religion and given myself the permission and freedom to make my own decisions.

Imagine doing that to every single one of your beliefs? It takes a while, don't get me wrong. But it is very freeing to explore what you believe and why, and come to your own conclusions.

Here's another one- "I'll never make money as a musician. Better choose something else." That was told to me day in and day out, by my mom who watched me practice my piano for 2 hours a day from age 8 to 18. She MADE me do it, and she knew I was incredibly good and talented. But then she would say that stupid crap to me, making me doubt my own existence. When you are a kid, you BELIEVE what your parents say. It's just the way things are. So here I am, busting my ass practicing this really difficult stuff (I had a Russian teacher) and spending my time doing that instead of having a social life, and my mom is telling me I suck and I better not even think about choosing music for a career. It produced a whole lot of confusion.

So instead, I pursued teaching (practical- big mistake) and had to sneak into the practice rooms at college to get on the piano (they were only for the music students). And wondered what was wrong with me and my musical abilities. The thing is, nothing was wrong with me. What was wrong was my mother's mistaken belief that music could not be a lucrative career for me. I definitely could have gone into some kind of professional concert experience- orchestra, symphony, even a band. But by the time I figured out what was wrong with my core belief (I'm not a good enough musician to make it) it was too late. I don't want to do the work it would take to get back into the condition I was in musically at the time, at this stage in my life. Instead I enjoy making music when I have the chance, and I'm looking into taking up another string instrument, one that is more portable so I can play for my friends.

Currently my limiting beliefs have to do with money (lack) and my ability to finish what I start (none). I'm enjoying this momentum challenge- today they guys challenged me personally, saying that this is the day a lot of people will drop out, and many won't make it past the 1/2 way point. I decided to do this- and I'm going to finish. By doing so, I will dissolve my belief that I can't finish what I set out to do.

 

Day 2- Momentum Challenge- My Manifesto

It's interesting, because although I am an artist, and the physical mark I want to leave on the world is my art, I know I have something more than a physical piece of artwork inside me- I have full knowledge of myself that has been gained through a lot of study, reflection, metacognition, and faith. I feel more ready to complete my current art project than ever before- but not for any physical reason, and not for any motivation having to do with tons of people wanting to buy my art (as a status symbol or collectible, or anything like that.)

Instead, what I have to share is on the inside, and it is being gloriously reflected on the outside as art, as the FRUITS of my thought process, prayer, and reflection.

For most of my life, I've been "plagued" by my many talents. What a burden it is to be a straight-A student for 17 years without trying, to remember almost anything I've ever learned or read or heard in a lecture, to be musically talented in multiple instruments AND voice, to have new ideas EVERY SINGLE MINUTE. I constantly berated god for his overabundance of gifts and lack of a road-map. Every decision I was about to make about my future would be blocked by the idea that if I chose to follow one path, I would be forfeiting another. I mean, only one person could be Leonardo Da Vinci, right? And he already did that.

Many people suffer from creative blocks, there are all kinds. My kind has to do with anxiety over choosing, because in the act of choosing one thing, that means all others are put to the side, at least for a moment. At some point in the last few months, I realized- if I NEVER choose, I will NEVER manifest anything. All that talent will go to waste, and I will die completely unfulfilled. My mission for myself is to trust myself, trust my choices, and love myself- which includes keeping promises to myself and keeping consistent so I can get results.

My Mission in life, therefore, is to find a way to encourage those who are blocking their true potential with anxiety to unblock and let their light shine.

I have so many anxieties, but through some very important study I've discovered that almost all of them have to do with not taking responsibility for my own actions, and trying to anticipate everyone else's. When you are living in that particular hell, you end up not caring for yourself, and being too wrapped up in everyone else's business to notice.

When I look back now over my life and call to mind what I might have had simply for taking and did not take, my heart is like to break. ~William Hale White

Day 1- Momentum Challenge.

I'm starting by thinking about this: What if I knew I had a year to live? What would I want to leave behind, as my legacy?

Since I am an artist, and primarily concerned with enjoying and creating beauty, I want to leave the world my art. Something beautiful and "keepable," something people will love, enjoy, and cherish.

I have been gifted with so many talents, and lately I've been searching deep within myself to figure out exactly why I haven't been successful with any of them. It's due to lack of focus. I agree with the idea of Multipotentiality- but I've also realized that a polymath like ME, not like any other polymath, needs to focus on one thing at a time. Multitasking doesn't work. So I've got goals now.

My first goal is to finish a product line that I've had on my mind for YEARS. Oh hell yes, I'm talking at least 10 years. I think about it... but I never truly act on it. I don't feel that I've wasted my time, not completely, because all the other experimenting and making I've been doing has led me to a place where I now know exactly what my product consists of, the steps to making it, and I can conceptualize what it will look like when I'm ready to sell it. So now I'm ready to commit.

So I need to quit writing now, and get back to drawing- because that's part of it. A very important part.